Jennifer’s story
Jennifer came to see me a few years after her divorce had gone through. She and her ex-husband have young children, and she was finding communication increasingly challenging. This was eating into her confidence in her approach to the shared care of their children.
Together, we looked at the ways in which Jennifer was communicating with her ex, and considered the situation from both his and her perspective. Jennifer realised over the course of our work that she was trying to maintain a pattern of communication that had worked whilst she and her ex were married, but which was no longer effective. We brainstormed ways in which Jennifer could change her approach and perspective. She was able to put these suggestions into practice, and try out new and fresh approaches. Jennifer says:
“You never think it will be your marriage ending in divorce and when it happens, it is so much harder than you ever imagine. Dealing with your emotions associated with what led to the divorce, those while you go through it and then there is the future. When kids are involved, all of these feelings are magnified.
When married, you try to approach everything as a team, you try to work from the same hymn sheet and you create shared hopes and dreams. When you divorce, this all changes.
Despite what I felt were my best efforts, I found myself in a position where communication between my ex and I hit an all time low and and my anxieties over how this might impact the kids, hit an all time high. I have been blessed with a brilliant family and circle of friends, but I realised at this point I needed something more. I didn’t want to be a divorce bore, I didn’t want to speak negatively about someone who had once been important to me and I didn’t want to worry about sharing too much. Someone professional and impartial was just what I needed.
I felt like I had run out of tools in my tool box and lost confidence in my ability to approach things in the correct way, so I decided to book in with Claire.
Being a private person, it is not something I thought I would find easy but I was immediately put at ease by her relaxed, professional and friendly manner. I felt really comfortable speaking with Claire and within minutes, knew that I had done the right thing.
She had a brilliant way of helping me to make sense of my feelings, motivations and hopes and used a variety of techniques to help me reflect and understand the bigger picture.
The outcome was more than I hoped for. I left the room with fresh perspective, a positive shift in attitude and confidence in my approach moving forward.
I cannot recommend Claire more and only wish I had met with her sooner.
Even if you don’t think you’d benefit from it, I would recommend anyone going through divorce to book in with Claire. She is absolutely brilliant.”