Kirstie’s story

“I got in touch with Claire after our 18yr old daughter discovered my husband was having an affair and had to find a way to tell me. I had to come to terms with so much alone as after this he simply left and didn’t contact me for months. This period of freefall and trying to support my daughter was excruciatingly confusing and lonely.
Around this time, I had to prepare for her to leave for university, to sell our family home and to start divorce proceedings.

I have some wonderfully supportive friends and family and a sister who helped me enormously but somehow I think we all try to protect those we love from the gritty details of our personal life events. Finding Claire allowed me the space to explore those deeper feelings that I couldn’t with friends or family.

My main challenge was acceptance of the present and fear for the future. I was feeling terrified, bewildered, bereaved and I felt such guilt about my daughter and the changes this meant for her – I had no sense of safety or assurances about our life or our future. My thoughts were confused, and I found it difficult to process what had happened and have the strength to concentrate on good decisions.

Strangely, I wasn’t angry and I told Claire I desperately wanted to get through this with grace and forgiveness – she understood this and kept me on that trajectory when I fell off sometimes! She guided me with the most incredible blend of logic and empathy – she seemed to know intuitively what it was that I needed each week.

Claire changed my life at this difficult impasse. She gave me the support and advice that I needed. Always offering a different perspective, gently guiding and allowing me to see things more rationally. She gave me hope. She reminded me who I was and what I had to look forward to. She showed me the sunshine on the horizon and reminded me to keep walking in that direction.

She also helped me to see the times that I was taking too much on, bearing the responsibility of my husband’s mistakes and the consequences for myself and my daughter. She helped me to shed that particular emotion that I found so overwhelming.

I remember Claire simply telling me that I needed to give away the feelings that were holding me back and hurting me so much. To metaphorically give them back to the person who caused them and not to soak them up and allow them to be of detriment to me. This was so liberating for me.

The biggest shift is that I have learnt not to catastrophise (even though this life event felt catastrophic). In fact I am happier now than I have been for years. I still worry about my future but I now have the capacity to try and forgive and appreciate my life as it is. I have never felt bitter or angry and I put this down to Claire holding me tight at a pivotal time and showing me another route through this. I will never, ever be able to thank her enough.

Claire is an utterly beautiful woman inside and out. Her sensitivity and sympathetic nature coupled with her training is the most powerful combination. I felt very quickly as though I could trust her with my most private and sometimes uncomfortable thoughts. She made me laugh when I was crying and inspired me to keep going. I will never be able to thank her enough for her wisdom and care at a time in my life when I needed it so much.

I have and always will recommend Claire to others. I have bought and sent her superb book to friends too. She is a shining star for anyone going through a break-up. She will hold your hand and support and cheerlead you in a way you’ll only understand once you have decided to work with her. She’s absolutely my hero and I owe her so very much.

I am now happy, content, no longer scared, my life is full, I have even met someone new. I’ve moved to a happy new home, my daughter is loving university and we’re working together on the changes in our lives, but without so much fear or trepidation. I am finally excited about our future, because Claire helped me see a glimmer of it each week whilst I was in the dark – and here I am now! I will always keep in touch with Claire and never forget the intrinsic role she played at my lowest point.

Do not hesitate if you are thinking about working with her - she’s an absolute gift and you deserve to have found her.”