Luke’s story

“When I started my coaching with Claire I knew I was stuck in a spiral of negativity which was affecting all aspects of my life and work. I found it impossible to look forward and didn’t believe that there were options out there for me to follow that would lead to a positive future. I was wrapped up in negative thoughts, feelings of not being good enough and I was paying far too much attention to the constant trivial arguments with my ex-wife.

I would describe it as feeling stuck. I was stuck in my thoughts and stuck in a mindset of not being able to look forward. I was thinking and putting my energy and time into thinking about what I’d lost and trying to understand why, so I always felt down. I also had strong feelings of being a ‘victim’ and how I’d lost so much in terms of family and finances. I was holding onto strong thoughts and feelings of “why did it happen to me”? “What did I do wrong”?

At first, coaching helped me to simply just spill all my thoughts out to someone I knew was impartial. I always felt that I could explain to Claire how I felt without being judged. I think in the initial sessions Claire was doing a lot of listening. :-)

Through coaching I started to believe that there were ‘other’ options available to me rather than staying in this state of continually looking back. I was able to quickly see myself in a different light and to look at ME from the perspective of others. How do my children feel when they see me so down and low? How do others perceive me? And are these beliefs actually true?

Claire also helped hugely in the areas of anxiety and my deep-seated feelings of “not being good enough”, “that I was always being judged”. During my coaching, I had numerous realisations and lightbulb moments:

• when I realised, as daft as it seems, that it was only ME that was holding ME back.

• that I had the ability and the paths/options to follow that would make my life so different. I just needed to believe this and start taking the steps along these different paths.

• that getting out and about, following my passions and engaging with people and activities that make me happy. This is so powerful. The more I take myself out of my comfort zone the greater the potential reward in terms of my progress.

• the realisation that I can go and try whatever I want and if it doesn’t work out or is not for me then it’s not seen as a failure. Instead I’ve learnt it’s not for me and I can move on.

• that who I am as an individual is something to be proud of. Brainstorming my skills and attributes was hard but helped a lot.

Claire would often use quotes and recommend books that I found really helpful to remember. Things like “If you keep doing the same things, you’ll keep getting the same results”. One particular book was “Feel the fear and do it anyway”.

Throughout the journey with Claire I’ve picked up some ‘techniques’ that I will hold onto forever. I am now always wrapped in my ‘Confidence Cloak’ with my ‘Swag bag of Confidence” over my shoulder. A simple touch of my belt takes me into my “Flow of Fun, Strength and Confidence”.

The biggest shift for me has been developing positivity. Now I place more of my energy towards pursuing the paths and options I want to follow in the future, not dwelling on the past.

I have grown so much in confidence. I am proud of who I am and what I have to offer. I know that I can achieve whatever I want.

Before, I had a limiting belief that I can only ever have one thing or the other. But now I know that often, there is a way to achieve BOTH!

Claire was great. Claire listened and challenged, and I always felt at ease working with her. I really enjoyed working with her and felt we quickly established a rapport. My journey working with Claire seemed to take twists and turns. I felt initially I was working with her to move on from my divorce but it soon became obvious that a lot of my limiting beliefs that were holding me back were around my history of anxiety, feelings of not being good enough and always being judged. I felt Claire was able to tailor the sessions and focus on the right areas as I progressed on my journey.

I also felt some of the NLP practical exercises that Claire used were really beneficial. They really pushed me out of my comfort zone and that seems to be where I gained a lot of benefit.

I would recommend Claire to anyone I know that is struggling to move on following divorce. From being stuck in the past, dwelling on negative thoughts and energy, and having a ‘victim’ mentality. Claire has helped me change my mindset and thought patterns - which was exactly what was needed for me to look forward knowing I’m as deserving as anyone else.

I also think it really helps that Claire has been through a similar journey and therefore has that strong compassion and understanding.”